Time for your favorite Tennessee joke

[2Stater]

Phil Fulmer was so fat he was diagnosed with terminal flesh eating disease. His doc gave him 10 years to live.

[Coach Hank Crisp]

Turn it up! Tennessee Phil!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFjv5sNM3Xk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFjv5sNM3Xk</a>

[Coach Hank Crisp]

[rueben]

  UT player took a bus home, but she prefers to be called "Big Boned!"

[Coach Hank Crisp]

[BAMAWV]

[Coach Hank Crisp]

[Coach Hank Crisp]

[Coach Hank Crisp]

Tennessee Crazy Law

Any person crippling, killing or in any way destroying a proud female dog that is running at large shall not be held liable for the damages due to such killing or destruction.

"Crimes against nature" are prohibited.

More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

Hollow logs may not be sold.

It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.

Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.

Driving is not to be done while asleep.

You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

Dyersburg
It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.

Fayette County
You may not have more than five inoperable vehicles on a piece of property.

Lenoir City
When you pull up to a stop sign you must fire a gun out the window to warn horse carriages that you are coming.

Lexington
No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk.

Spitting on the sidewalk is prohibited.

Knoxville
In front of their buildings, all businesses must have a "hitching post."


Memphis

 Panhandlers must first obtain a $10 permit before begging on the streets of downtown Memphis. (Passed in 1996)

Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM.

It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.

Oneida
An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song "It Ain't Goin' To Rain No Mo'."

 

[Coach Hank Crisp]

Tennessee: “The Educashun State.”

[Coach Hank Crisp]

Do you know what a 12 yr old Tennessee girl says before she goes to sleep at night.... get off me daddy you're crushing my cigs!

[cbbama99]

An Alabama alum and a Tennessee alum are captured in another country and sentenced to firing squad.  Prior to the sentence being carried out, each is asked for their last request.

"I want to hear 'Rocky Top' just one more time," the UT grad said wistfully.

The guards ask the Bama fan the same question, to which he replied "Shoot me first."

[bamalum67]

Tenn boy and girl get married..next morning,,the boy is back at Pa's house for breakfast..Pa says, whut you doin heyar?  Boys says, she's a virgin, PA!  PA says well, hell, if she aint good enuff for her own folks, she aint good enuff fer us!

[2Stater]

I found out that the toothbrush was invented in Tennessee. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.

[Terrie1959]

An Alabama student, Vandy student and Tennessee student were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Tennessee. The Alabama student opens his lunch box and says, “A hotdog again! If I have to eat one more hotdog I’m going to jump off this bridge!”
The Vandy student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, “Salad again! If I have to eat salad one more time I’m going to jump too!”
Lastly the Tennessee student opens his lunchbox and complains, “Peanut butter and jelly! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more time I’m going to end it all too!”
The next day the Alabama student finds another hotdog and jumps… the Vandy student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too… finally the Tennessee student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.
Later when the three mothers were grieving the Alabama mother cries, “If I had only known he didn’t like hotdogs,” and the Vandy mother cried, “I thought salad was good for him.” The Tennessee mother then exclaimed, “I don’t understand… he fixed his own lunch every day!”

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