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Author Topic: Auburn Jokes  (Read 44886 times)
SUPERCOACH
Coach Bear Bryant
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« Reply #45 on: November 21, 2011, 09:21:29 PM »

An Arkansas fan, an Alabama fan, and an Auburn fan were peeing off of a bridge.  The Arkansas fan said "Boy, that water is cold."  The Alabama fan siad, "Boy that water is deep."

Just then they noticed that the Auburn fan was missing.  They looked around for a second, then they heard him yelling up from below the bridge "I have no idea how deep it is, but that water isn't cold at all.  In fact, it is actually pretty warm.  But it is still the best tasting water I ever had."
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Coach Bear Bryant
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« Reply #46 on: November 21, 2011, 09:35:54 PM »

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SUPERCOACH
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« Reply #47 on: November 21, 2011, 09:48:12 PM »

What do you call it when 58 Auburn grads show up at the Holiday Inn?

A garbage workers convention.
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Bamaphile
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« Reply #48 on: November 21, 2011, 09:50:58 PM »

Auburn is changing their mascot from the Tigers to something that fits their culture better.  They're now going to be known as the Auburn Cheetahs.
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« Reply #49 on: November 21, 2011, 09:56:57 PM »

Two Alabama fans, an Auburn fan, and a cook went camping.  The first night, the first Alabama fan was responsible for bringing back dinner.  He brought back a deer.  The cook asked him how he got the deer.  The first Alabama fan said, "I saw deer tracks.  I followed the deer tracks.  I saw the deer.  I shot the deer."  The second night, the second Alabama fan was responsible for bringing back dinner.  He brought back a rabbit.  The cook asked him how he got the rabbit.  The second Alabama fan said, "I saw rabbit tracks.  I followed the rabbit tracks.  I saw the rabbit.  I shot the rabbit."  The third night, it was the Auburn fan's turn to bring back dinner.  He was gone a really long time.  He finally came crawling back to the campsite looking half dead.  The cook asked him what happened.  The Auburn fan said, "I saw train tracks."
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BAMAWV
Coach Nick Saban
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« Reply #50 on: November 21, 2011, 09:58:38 PM »

Barner goes to buy a new TV to watch the game:

"Do y'all have color TV's"

"Sure we do"

"Okay, I'll take an orange and blue one"
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« Reply #51 on: November 21, 2011, 10:07:41 PM »

Bo knows...

Barn professor: Bo, name two pronouns.
Bo: Who me?
Prof: Right.

Bo was excited to learn his AM radio also worked at night.



« Last Edit: November 21, 2011, 10:16:50 PM by BAMAWV » Logged

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SUPERCOACH
Coach Bear Bryant
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« Reply #52 on: November 21, 2011, 10:11:34 PM »

How many barners does it take to change a light bulb?

None.  It's a trick question.  They don't have electricity in Lee County.
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« Reply #53 on: November 21, 2011, 10:30:01 PM »

Barners worse than boogers. They are like the boogers you can't flick off.

 Cool
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« Reply #54 on: November 21, 2011, 10:38:59 PM »

A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in.

With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slowly.

He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.

He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.

The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.

The third patron to enter the bar was a barner, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"

The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

Jesus walked toward the barner, but the barner jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"
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SUPERCOACH
Coach Bear Bryant
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« Reply #55 on: November 21, 2011, 11:19:25 PM »

An Auburn frat boy takes his girlfriend to her first ever Iron Bowl.  At the beginning of the game the captains go out to meet with the refs in the middle of the field.  "What are they doing?" she asks.  "They are flipping a coin to see who gets the ball first," replied the frat boy.

About half way through Alabama's first drive, the girl stands up on her seat and starts throwing change from her purse at everybody in the stands.  "What are you doing?" screamed the boyfriend.  She yells back at him, "I'm tired of these tightwads screaming to get the quarter back!!!"
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Coach Bear Bryant
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« Reply #56 on: November 21, 2011, 11:27:36 PM »

Two freshman Auburn football players walk into the casino to get their first weekly "jackpot".  They decide to split up and go to different slot machines so that it won't be as suspicious.  The first player swipes his special card through the machine, and it puts $1000 on his account.  He looks for the other player but can't find him anywhere.  Finally he spots him over at the front door with a wheelbarrow.  He goes over and asks him "What are you doing?"  The other player said "I need this wheelbarrow for all of my money.  I found a machine over in the corner that gives me 4 quarters every time I put a dollar bill in there!!!"
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« Reply #57 on: November 21, 2011, 11:34:59 PM »

Two freshman Auburn football players walk into the casino to get their first weekly "jackpot".  They decide to split up and go to different slot machines so that it won't be as suspicious.  The first player swipes his special card through the machine, and it puts $1000 on his account.  He looks for the other player but can't find him anywhere.  Finally he spots him over at the front door with a wheelbarrow.  He goes over and asks him "What are you doing?"  The other player said "I need this wheelbarrow for all of my money.  I found a machine over in the corner that gives me 4 quarters every time I put a dollar bill in there!!!"
That sounds like a true story.

 Huh?
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« Reply #58 on: November 21, 2011, 11:39:42 PM »

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eykXTU8SYlE" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eykXTU8SYlE</a>
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« Reply #59 on: November 21, 2011, 11:46:27 PM »

Why doesn't Auburn have a real tiger at the stadium like LSU?

They were trying to get one, but then Pat Dye gave all the steaks to Eric Ramsey.
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