The crazy things kids do/say

[cbbama99]

I am inspired to start this thread based on something my 4 year old just did. My wife gets an ice cream bar out of the freezer. Joshua asks for some, so she lets him hold it and lick. He sits on floor and proceeds to bend over, making my wife yell at him not to drop it on the floor. He proceeds to touch it to his foot (making a toe-shaped imprint in the ice cream), and before we can stop him, he pulls his foot to his mouth and licks the ice cream off his big toe. How can I seriously tell him that is not a good thing to do when I am laughing my head off about it? 

[SUPERCOACH]

Has he discovered that a king sized pillow case makes the perfect sleeping bag for a 4 year old?  My son has been laying around in my pillow case watching TV.

[ricky023]

Aren't they so impressionable at that age? RTR!

[Jamos]

Art Linkletter's show was one of my favorites back when.

[SUPERCOACH]

I liked the Cosby version of that show.

Well, I have no idea where my pillow case is now.  I had to sleep without it last night.  Maybe today we will play find the hidden treasure, it's in daddy's pillow case.

[Coach Hank Crisp]

My 16 year old son said this when he got up this morning before showing for church.

"I swear, my pillow could be a famous hair stylist, because of the weird hair doos I wake up with."

 

[N.AL-Tider]

As I was leaving for work this morning I found James Edward (my 3 y/o son) sitting on his 6 year old brother who was fast asleep on the couch in the den.  James was just sitting there watching one of his favorite tv shows.  It is called "Wow Wow Wubbsey" or something like that...

[SUPERCOACH]

Wow Wow Wubbzy... I know it well. 

Wubbzy lives in a tree. He likes to play! Play! Play!
He's got a bendy tail
And he likes it that way!

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!
Wubbzy! Wubbzy! Wow! Wow!

Widget is his friend
She likes to build
She hammers and she saws
And her toolbox is filled

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!
Wubbzy! Wubbzy! Wow! Wow!

Walden is their friend
He's really smart
He knows about science
And books and art

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!
Wubbzy! Wubbzy! Wow! Wow!

Wubbzy and Widget and Walden are friends

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!
Wubbzy! Wubbzy! Wow! Wow!

And when they are together the fun never ends

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!
Wubbzy! Wubbzy! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

[rueben]

  You may need a good "mental Imager" for this...

  My son's favorite show is "Cops." Has been since he was three y/o. I bought him a pair of toy hand cuffs a while back. He also has a giant stuffed Polar Bear. So one night "Cops" (rerun) is on, and they are in foot pursuit. My wife is on the couch with her lap top, and I am in my chair with mine. We both glance up to see Brodie running wide loops around the den, while keeping an eye on the TV. He cups his left hand over his right shoulder and turns to speak into to it ( like it's a lapel mic for a radio). "We have a runner on 231 North!"  The cops on TV climb a fence, so Brodie stops, slowly raises one leg, then the other, like he's going over a fence. You can even hear him grunting like he's having difficulty. Finally after about 2 more laps around the den he dives ( for what looks like about 4 feet through the air) onto his stuffed bear, yelling in his little high pitched voice "Get on the ground, get on the ground!!!!" He wrestles with the bear a bit and then pulls his toy cuffs out of his waist band and cuffs the bear. By now, Monica and I are in tears trying to keep form busting out laughing. Finally I asked him, "Son, what's he going to jail for?" He, sits the bear up, holds him by the shoulder, looks him dead in the eye and yells (in a very scolding type tone, " You're going to jail because you drank 2 cocaines!!!"

 
 

[BAMAWV]

 You may need a good "mental Imager" for this...

  My son's favorite show is "Cops." Has been since he was three y/o. I bought him a pair of toy hand cuffs a while back. He also has a giant stuffed Polar Bear. So one night "Cops" (rerun) is on, and they are in foot pursuit. My wife is on the couch with her lap top, and I am in my chair with mine. We both glance up to see Brodie running wide loops around the den, while keeping an eye on the TV. He cups his left hand over his right shoulder and turns to speak into to it ( like it's a lapel mic for a radio). "We have a runner on 231 North!"  The cops on TV climb a fence, so Brodie stops, slowly raises one leg, then the other, like he's going over a fence. You can even hear him grunting like he's having difficulty. Finally after about 2 more laps around the den he dives ( for what looks like about 4 feet through the air) onto his stuffed bear, yelling in his little high pitched voice "Get on the ground, get on the ground!!!!" He wrestles with the bear a bit and then pulls his toy cuffs out of his waist band and cuffs the bear. By now, Monica and I are in tears trying to keep form busting out laughing. Finally I asked him, "Son, what's he going to jail for?" He, sits the bear up, holds him by the shoulder, looks him dead in the eye and yells (in a very scolding type tone, " You're going to jail because you drank 2 cocaines!!!"

 
 

Who needs TV when you have that kind of entertaiment. BTW, BRODIE? RTR The wife wouldn't  go for John Parker?

[ricky023]

  You may need a good "mental Imager" for this...

  My son's favorite show is "Cops." Has been since he was three y/o. I bought him a pair of toy hand cuffs a while back. He also has a giant stuffed Polar Bear. So one night "Cops" (rerun) is on, and they are in foot pursuit. My wife is on the couch with her lap top, and I am in my chair with mine. We both glance up to see Brodie running wide loops around the den, while keeping an eye on the TV. He cups his left hand over his right shoulder and turns to speak into to it ( like it's a lapel mic for a radio). "We have a runner on 231 North!"  The cops on TV climb a fence, so Brodie stops, slowly raises one leg, then the other, like he's going over a fence. You can even hear him grunting like he's having difficulty. Finally after about 2 more laps around the den he dives ( for what looks like about 4 feet through the air) onto his stuffed bear, yelling in his little high pitched voice "Get on the ground, get on the ground!!!!" He wrestles with the bear a bit and then pulls his toy cuffs out of his waist band and cuffs the bear. By now, Monica and I are in tears trying to keep form busting out laughing. Finally I asked him, "Son, what's he going to jail for?" He, sits the bear up, holds him by the shoulder, looks him dead in the eye and yells (in a very scolding type tone, " You're going to jail because you drank 2 cocaines!!!"

 
 

This was so good I had to e-cred that one. He must be a really great young man. He almost already wants to be like dad. lol, RTR!

[2Stater]

When my oldest daughter was 8 yrs. old, we noticed that she was already developing, even at that age. After a doctor appointment, her pediatrician suggested that we might giver her the "your body's changing" talk, because she was likely to "start" at an earlier age than most girls. My wife went to my daughter's room for the discussion. She came out a few minutes later trying to suppress tremendous laughter. I asked her what was so funny. She said that she asked my daughter "Do you know what a period is?" My daughter responded "Yes maam". My wife felt a moment of relief, thinking that she wouldn't have to go into detail about the matter. Then my daughter looked at her and said "It's the punctuation at the end of a sentence".

You can't make that stuff up. Hilarious!

[Terrie1959]

When my daughter was 13, I sent her to stay a few weeks with my Mom. While she was there, Mama gave her chores to do. Apparently Rachel was doing some cleaning but not with any muscle power. Mama left her a note one morning to clean the bathtub and use a little elbow grease.  Rachel looked and looked around the house and finally she called Mama and said "Mammy, you need to stop at the store and get some elbow grease, you are out"!  We still laugh at her about elbow grease!

[N.AL-Tider]

When my oldest daughter was about 7 or 8 y/o we were sitting around talking and I mentioned something about one's "birthday" suit.  A few days later we were at my parent's house and my second oldest brother was there too.  She asked him if she could see his birthday suit.  I think it was about 4 or 5 minutes before he started to actually breath again...

We told her what that meant and to this day she gets embarrassed when we mention it...and she is now 22 y/o.

[cbbama99]

 You may need a good "mental Imager" for this...

  My son's favorite show is "Cops." Has been since he was three y/o. I bought him a pair of toy hand cuffs a while back. He also has a giant stuffed Polar Bear. So one night "Cops" (rerun) is on, and they are in foot pursuit. My wife is on the couch with her lap top, and I am in my chair with mine. We both glance up to see Brodie running wide loops around the den, while keeping an eye on the TV. He cups his left hand over his right shoulder and turns to speak into to it ( like it's a lapel mic for a radio). "We have a runner on 231 North!"  The cops on TV climb a fence, so Brodie stops, slowly raises one leg, then the other, like he's going over a fence. You can even hear him grunting like he's having difficulty. Finally after about 2 more laps around the den he dives ( for what looks like about 4 feet through the air) onto his stuffed bear, yelling in his little high pitched voice "Get on the ground, get on the ground!!!!" He wrestles with the bear a bit and then pulls his toy cuffs out of his waist band and cuffs the bear. By now, Monica and I are in tears trying to keep form busting out laughing. Finally I asked him, "Son, what's he going to jail for?" He, sits the bear up, holds him by the shoulder, looks him dead in the eye and yells (in a very scolding type tone, " You're going to jail because you drank 2 cocaines!!!"

 
 

     I don't care who you are, that's funny right there!

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