Crimson Red Sports
 
 

* Overall Winners
SUPERCOACH
86-66 (1214)

2Stater
86-66 (1469)

Hannibal Lecter, MD
85-64 (1075)

pmull
84-67 (1137)

83-67 (1264)

ricky023
82-70 (1278)

Merk
80-67 (1227)

BAMADCHAMPSHIPS
80-69 (1392)

td57
80-71 (1119)

Chechem
79-73 (1307)


* Most E-Cred
Kgoode35+
E-Cred: 1000009
2Stater 2Stater
E-Cred: 7920
Chechem Chechem
E-Cred: 7228
pmull pmull
E-Cred: 6108
Jamos Jamos
E-Cred: 5801
SUPERCOACH SUPERCOACH
E-Cred: 5654
Catch Prothro Catch Prothro
E-Cred: 5215
ricky023 ricky023
E-Cred: 5062
XBAMA XBAMA
E-Cred: 4632
Merk Merk
E-Cred: 3915
bama57 bama57
E-Cred: 3858
KoKoPuf
E-Cred: 3504
BAMADCHAMPSHIPS BAMADCHAMPSHIPS
E-Cred: 3378
Leewillie Leewillie
E-Cred: 3348
N.AL-Tider N.AL-Tider
E-Cred: 3190
Bamaphile Bamaphile
E-Cred: 3183
td57 td57
E-Cred: 3139
Marshal Dillon Marshal Dillon
E-Cred: 3072
bamaphil bamaphil
E-Cred: 2962
Hannibal Lecter, MD Hannibal Lecter, MD
E-Cred: 2961

Pages: 1 ... 5 6 7 8 [9] 10 11 12 13 ... 62   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: ***The Official CRS Joke Thread***  (Read 199057 times)
N.AL-Tider
Coach Wallace Wade
*****

E-Cred: 3190
Offline Offline

Posts: 8996

N.AL-Tider


View Profile
« Reply #120 on: January 18, 2019, 08:06:27 AM »

Well, I'm at the emergency room 😩. This day has kinda taken a turn for the worst. I got the chance to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in a while. Big mistake. I got on the horse and started out slowly, but I got cocky. So we started going a little faster and before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. And when I tried to stop the horse, I couldn't stop him, he must have gotten spooked or something.

He was out of control, so I decided to try to jump off the horse, and instead, I fell off, but as I was falling, my foot got caught in the stirrup , so the horse was dragging me. And he wouldn't stop. Every time I screamed at him to stop, the horse went faster. Thank goodness the manager came out and unplugged the machine. But he had the nerve to take the rest of my quarters so I wouldn't attempt to ride it again. 
Laughing Laughing Laughing  Ecred for that one...
Logged

"Play by play, that’s how we win here."

Eddie Jackson  Dec. 2016
SUPERCOACH
Coach Bear Bryant
*****

E-Cred: 5654
Offline Offline

     Male

Posts: 23687

SUPERCOACH

"Let's go."


View Profile
« Reply #121 on: January 18, 2019, 12:17:17 PM »

Well, I'm at the emergency room 😩. This day has kinda taken a turn for the worst. I got the chance to go horseback riding, something I haven't done in a while. Big mistake. I got on the horse and started out slowly, but I got cocky. So we started going a little faster and before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. And when I tried to stop the horse, I couldn't stop him, he must have gotten spooked or something.

He was out of control, so I decided to try to jump off the horse, and instead, I fell off, but as I was falling, my foot got caught in the stirrup , so the horse was dragging me. And he wouldn't stop. Every time I screamed at him to stop, the horse went faster. Thank goodness the manager came out and unplugged the machine. But he had the nerve to take the rest of my quarters so I wouldn't attempt to ride it again. 

At first I thought I was reading this in the Daily Thread. 
Logged

"The same thing win, that always won... and we just have a different bunch of excuses if we lose"
2Stater
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7920
Offline Offline

     Male

Posts: 55873

2Stater

Kazowie!


View Profile
« Reply #122 on: January 20, 2019, 11:23:09 AM »

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Logged
Chechem
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7228
Offline Offline

Posts: 66191

Chechem


View Profile
« Reply #123 on: January 20, 2019, 06:10:57 PM »

My favorite jokes:

NFC Championship referees.


« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 06:14:00 PM by Chechem » Logged

2Stater
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7920
Offline Offline

     Male

Posts: 55873

2Stater

Kazowie!


View Profile
« Reply #124 on: January 20, 2019, 06:45:03 PM »

My favorite jokes:

NFC Championship referees.




For some reason, I don't think the Saints found it that funny. What an absolutely horrible no call!  Banging your head against the wall.
Logged
Chechem
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7228
Offline Offline

Posts: 66191

Chechem


View Profile
« Reply #125 on: January 20, 2019, 06:58:06 PM »

My favorite jokes:

NFC Championship referees.

For some reason, I don't think the Saints found it that funny. What an absolutely horrible no call!  Banging your head against the wall.

THEY WERE A JOKE!   
Logged

2Stater
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7920
Offline Offline

     Male

Posts: 55873

2Stater

Kazowie!


View Profile
« Reply #126 on: January 20, 2019, 07:07:02 PM »

My favorite jokes:

NFC Championship referees.

For some reason, I don't think the Saints found it that funny. What an absolutely horrible no call!  Banging your head against the wall.

THEY WERE A JOKE!   

No doubt!  Angry Angry Angry
Logged
2Stater
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7920
Offline Offline

     Male

Posts: 55873

2Stater

Kazowie!


View Profile
« Reply #127 on: January 21, 2019, 01:30:40 PM »

Logged
N.AL-Tider
Coach Wallace Wade
*****

E-Cred: 3190
Offline Offline

Posts: 8996

N.AL-Tider


View Profile
« Reply #128 on: January 21, 2019, 02:51:52 PM »

A man in his mid-forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”

The guy thinks for a second and says: “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer, and walked away.
Logged

"Play by play, that’s how we win here."

Eddie Jackson  Dec. 2016
N.AL-Tider
Coach Wallace Wade
*****

E-Cred: 3190
Offline Offline

Posts: 8996

N.AL-Tider


View Profile
« Reply #129 on: January 23, 2019, 10:51:58 AM »

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.”

I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
Logged

"Play by play, that’s how we win here."

Eddie Jackson  Dec. 2016
N.AL-Tider
Coach Wallace Wade
*****

E-Cred: 3190
Offline Offline

Posts: 8996

N.AL-Tider


View Profile
« Reply #130 on: January 23, 2019, 10:56:29 AM »

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, “You make a good point, my son.”

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held in a locked vault. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk. The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

“We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!”

“Father!” cries the young monk. “What’s wrong?”

The head monk with tears in his eyes replies, “The word is celebrate!”
Logged

"Play by play, that’s how we win here."

Eddie Jackson  Dec. 2016
2Stater
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7920
Offline Offline

     Male

Posts: 55873

2Stater

Kazowie!


View Profile
« Reply #131 on: January 23, 2019, 11:41:24 AM »

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, “You make a good point, my son.”

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held in a locked vault. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk. The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

“We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!”

“Father!” cries the young monk. “What’s wrong?”

The head monk with tears in his eyes replies, “The word is celebrate!”



 Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
Logged
Catch Prothro
Coach Gene Stallings
*****

E-Cred: 5215
Offline Offline

Posts: 14691

Catch Prothro


View Profile
« Reply #132 on: January 23, 2019, 11:47:13 AM »

Rant. VERY, VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying on his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2019, 07:12:32 PM by Chechem » Logged
N.AL-Tider
Coach Wallace Wade
*****

E-Cred: 3190
Offline Offline

Posts: 8996

N.AL-Tider


View Profile
« Reply #133 on: January 29, 2019, 04:50:55 PM »

A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2019 Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats.
 He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

 If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...

 It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Brittany and she's 5'10", blonde, about 110lbs good cook too.
 She'll be the one with the white dress.

He says, "Thank you in advance."
Logged

"Play by play, that’s how we win here."

Eddie Jackson  Dec. 2016
Chechem
President Denny
*****

E-Cred: 7228
Offline Offline

Posts: 66191

Chechem


View Profile
« Reply #134 on: January 29, 2019, 07:12:44 PM »

Rant. VERY, VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. He's still paying on his school loans. This just goes to show one minor mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great guy and a brilliant veterinarian.

Laughing Laughing
Logged

Pages: 1 ... 5 6 7 8 [9] 10 11 12 13 ... 62   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


* User Info
 
 
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

* Next Game


vs.

Day: Saturday
Date: 8/31/2024
Time: TBD
TV: TBD
Radio: Fun 92.7
Location: Bryant-Denny Stadium
Tuscaloosa, AL

* Who's Online
  • Dot Guests: 182
  • Dot Hidden: 0
  • Dot Users: 0

There aren't any users online.

* Recent Posts
Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by 2Stater
[Yesterday at 08:03:42 AM]


Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by N.AL-Tider
[March 26, 2024, 01:59:25 PM]


Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by ricky023
[March 26, 2024, 04:07:15 AM]


Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by N.AL-Tider
[March 25, 2024, 05:33:32 PM]


Has Nate Oats become the king of SEC Basketball? by ricky023
[March 25, 2024, 02:36:57 PM]


The Spring transfer portal window will be the most chaotic yet by ricky023
[March 25, 2024, 02:34:55 PM]


Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by ricky023
[March 25, 2024, 07:57:53 AM]


To All Readers of the Site by ricky023
[March 25, 2024, 07:56:42 AM]


Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by ricky023
[March 24, 2024, 08:55:20 AM]


Re: ***CRIMSON RED DAILY THREAD*** by ricky023
[March 23, 2024, 09:37:29 AM]


More


* New Members
  • Dot Wsimpson174 - 30 Apr
  • Dot tzadick - 14 Nov
  • Dot debtidefan - 11 Jan
  • Dot OneOfTheIV - 30 Jul
  • Dot mepboy - 02 Dec
  • Dot Crimsonchamp22 - 19 Oct
  • Dot CoachEidson88 - 05 Sep
  • Dot Rascal - 02 Jun
  • Dot mr mako - 12 Jan
  • Dot bamarich - 12 Nov
  • Dot Bamarae - 31 Aug
  • Dot Red Elephant - 09 Jan
  • Dot TideRavens - 02 Dec
  • Dot mowood - 30 Nov
  • Dot PARMAN59 - 11 Nov
  • Dot EpicnessTV - 08 Nov
  • Dot wad3g - 22 Sep
  • Dot DCTBama - 22 Aug
  • Dot BamaMom - 03 May
  • Dot RideCharlieLikeAHarley - 14 Mar

* Board Stats
  • stats Total Members: 352
  • stats Total Posts: 400719
  • stats Total Topics: 49142
  • stats Total Categories: 2
  • stats Total Boards: 22
  • stats Most Online: 638

 
     
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Copyright © 2009-2024 Crimson Red Sports. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by SMF 1.1.13 | SMF © 2006-2011, Simple Machines LLC
SimplePortal 2.3.3 © 2008-2010, SimplePortal
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.04 seconds with 29 queries.

Google last visited this page October 18, 2021, 12:00:09 AM