Lee County beer distributor

[BAMAWV]

You never really hear a cop say, "Ah, I had to let him go. Darn guy knew his rights".

My personal favorite was the guy that did the alphabet backwards faster than most can do in the normal order. Next, was the guy that did all the dance steps when the cop was giving him the sobriety test (road aerobics).

[2Stater]

You never really hear a cop say, "Ah, I had to let him go. Darn guy knew his rights".

My personal favorite was the guy that did the alphabet backwards faster than most can do in the normal order. Next, was the guy that did all the dance steps when the cop was giving him the sobriety test (road aerobics).

I know, then he screwed up and said to the cop, "Not bad for being drunk". I think that's the one you were referring to.

[BAMAWV]

You never really hear a cop say, "Ah, I had to let him go. Darn guy knew his rights".

My personal favorite was the guy that did the alphabet backwards faster than most can do in the normal order. Next, was the guy that did all the dance steps when the cop was giving him the sobriety test (road aerobics).

I know, then he screwed up and said to the cop, "Not bad for being drunk". I think that's the one you were referring to.

Cops need to work on their sense of humor. I'll bet you never really fit in. I'll also bet you nearly bit a hole in your hand four or five times a day trying not to laugh in these idiots' faces.

[2Stater]

You never really hear a cop say, "Ah, I had to let him go. Darn guy knew his rights".

My personal favorite was the guy that did the alphabet backwards faster than most can do in the normal order. Next, was the guy that did all the dance steps when the cop was giving him the sobriety test (road aerobics).

I know, then he screwed up and said to the cop, "Not bad for being drunk". I think that's the one you were referring to.

Cops need to work on their sense of humor. I'll bet you never really fit in. I'll also bet you nearly bit a hole in your hand four or five times a day trying not to laugh in these idiots' faces.

You know me well, my e-friend. Actually many cops I know or worked with had good senses of humor. Unfortunately the ones you see on these videos and on TV usually don't. Too many of them have god complexes.

[BAMAWV]

I'll have to work on remembering the joke. It went something like: "If you can give me a excuse that I have not heard before, I won't write you this ticket?"

I know you've heard it 2!

[2Stater]

I'll have to work on remembering the joke. It went something like: "If you can give me a excuse that I have not heard before, I won't write you this ticket?"

I know you've heard it 2!

I have, but I'll be damned if I can remember the punch line. 

[pmull]

I'll have to work on remembering the joke. It went something like: "If you can give me a excuse that I have not heard before, I won't write you this ticket?"

I know you've heard it 2!

A lawyer finally saved enough money to buy his dream car: a brand new Ferrari.
The next day he decided to put the new machine to test on the freeway. He steps in the gas and the car rapidly reaches 120mph. He notices a Highway Patrol cruiser behind him with lights flashing and the siren blaring. He thought: “He’ll never get me, not in this car.” and buried his right foot in the gas, 140, 160, 200… and the cruiser still behind him. So, he finally gave up and pulled over.

The HP officer approaches, asks for his documents, then: “I just had a horrible day and my shift is already over. So, if you give me an excuse I’ve never heard before , I’ll let you go.”
The lawyer tough for a moment and said: “See Officer, last week my wife left me for a High Patrol Officer and I was afraid it was him behind me trying to give her back.”

[2Stater]

I'll have to work on remembering the joke. It went something like: "If you can give me a excuse that I have not heard before, I won't write you this ticket?"

I know you've heard it 2!

A lawyer finally saved enough money to buy his dream car: a brand new Ferrari.
The next day he decided to put the new machine to test on the freeway. He steps in the gas and the car rapidly reaches 120mph. He notices a Highway Patrol cruiser behind him with lights flashing and the siren blaring. He thought: “He’ll never get me, not in this car.” and buried his right foot in the gas, 140, 160, 200… and the cruiser still behind him. So, he finally gave up and pulled over.

The HP officer approaches, asks for his documents, then: “I just had a horrible day and my shift is already over. So, if you give me an excuse I’ve never heard before , I’ll let you go.”
The lawyer tough for a moment and said: “See Officer, last week my wife left me for a High Patrol Officer and I was afraid it was him behind me trying to give her back.”

  That's it!

[BAMAWV]

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. ''They'll never catch me,'' he thought to himself and opened her up further.

The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him. ''What in hell am I doing?'' he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. ''I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!'' he said.

''Last week my wife ran off with a cop,'' the man said, ''and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!''

''Have a nice night,'' said the officer.

THIS SOUNDS MORE LIKE WHAT YOU WOULD DO!

[BAMAWV]

Beat me by a minute! 

[BAMAWV]

Beat me by a minute! 

OOOPs. That was pmull. 2 owes you a #.

[2Stater]

A Georgia state trooper pulls over a guy for speeding. As he was looking at the guy's driver's license, a bug was flying around the trooper's head. As the trooper was trying to swat away the fly, the driver said "that's a zoo zoo fly. The trooper asked "What's a zoo zoo fly? The driver said "You know, one of those flies that flies around a horses azz. The trooper said "Are you calling me a horses azz? "Oh no", replied the driver and then after a pause said "But it's hard to fool those zoo zoo flies".

[2Stater]

Beat me by a minute! 

OOOPs. That was pmull. 2 owes you a #.

I gave him one. I was trying to give you one, but apparently I already did within an hour. I owe ya (again).

[BAMAWV]

A Georgia state trooper pulls over a guy for speeding. As he was looking at the guy's driver's license, a bug was flying around the trooper's head. As the trooper was trying to swat away the fly, the driver said "that's a zoo zoo fly. The trooper asked "What's a zoo zoo fly? The driver said "You know, one of those flies that flies around a horses azz. The trooper said "Are you calling me a horses azz? "Oh no", replied the driver and then after a pause said "But it's hard to fool those zoo zoo flies".

Bwaaahahaha. The woman liked it too, Cheese it. You just earned the inadvertent # I gave you a minute ago.

[2Stater]

A Georgia state trooper pulls over a guy for speeding. As he was looking at the guy's driver's license, a bug was flying around the trooper's head. As the trooper was trying to swat away the fly, the driver said "that's a zoo zoo fly. The trooper asked "What's a zoo zoo fly? The driver said "You know, one of those flies that flies around a horses azz. The trooper said "Are you calling me a horses azz? "Oh no", replied the driver and then after a pause said "But it's hard to fool those zoo zoo flies".

Bwaaahahaha. The woman liked it too, Cheese it. You just earned the inadvertent # I gave you a minute ago.

Thank you. I'll be here all week. We need to change the name of this thread to "Cop humor". I got a million of them.......

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.
The results showed a reading of 0.0.
The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

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