Bama is not the place to come if you want "kid friendly". It is the place to come, however, if you want to become a man.
What did he mean by this:
A visit to Auburn went well, but an hour-long presentation on the athletic apparel and equipment players receive was "over the top."
I assume it means instead of the barn spending that hour showing the kid around campus, promoting the academics the school has to offer and talking about how he will fit the offense they run, etc. the barn showed him all the Under Armour stuff he would get. I can hear chiz telling him "look at all this stuff you get, we even have a Chick-fil-A".