Microsoft Windows 2012 edition

[N.AL-Tider]

Dear Consumers:
   
   It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2012, ALABAMA EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of ALABAMA.
   
   If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The ALABAMA EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2012, with a background picture of the band, "Alabama" superimposed over a bottle of Chilton County moonshine.
   
   Please also note:
   
   The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
   My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
   Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
   Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
   Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
   Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
   Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up
   
   
   
   
   CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ALABAMA EDITION:
   Cancel............stopdat
   Reset..............try'er agin
   Yes...............yep
   No................nope
   Find...............hunt fer it
   Go to.............over yonder
   Back...............back yonder
   Help..............hep me out here
   Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)
   Start.............crank'er up
   Settings..........settins
   Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
   Documents....... .stuff ah done did
   
   Also note that the ALABAMA EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2012:
   
   Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
   Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
   Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator
   Outhouse Paper................notepad
   Inner-net.....................Microsoft explorer 9.0
   Pitchers.......................a graphics viewer
   
   
   We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you have received a copy of the ALABAMA EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
   
   
   
   I hope this helps all y'all!
   
   Billy Bob Gates

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