Battle Rattle
Click here for linkNo Audible Farting.
Click here for linkU.S. Marines are now banned from passing gas in Afghanistan near locals, according to Marine Times blog "Battle Rattle," which is aptly named for this subject.
[So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.
I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.
So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.
From Comment section of article.
Comments
Gary Conlon Says:
August 23rd, 2011 at 6:00 pm
We are protecting them a$$holes. Boy’s, let-um rip!!
Thomas M Says:
August 23rd, 2011 at 11:58 pm
Are you kidding me. With the sh** we had to eat i was farting none stop. I mean really all the MREs and UGRs all you do is fart.
SNM Says:
August 24th, 2011 at 12:50 am
If we can’t fart around the Afghans then they should stop wiping their fecal matter all over the port-o-potty’s. Fair trade.
A USMC Beirut Vet Says:
August 24th, 2011 at 11:23 am
soon, you wont be able to use that word at all. so learn some others to replace it..
Other words for flatus: the nouns: the gas, the product itself, the sound, the types.
aerosolized stool (contributed by Barb F.)
after dinner mint (contributed by MW)
aftershocks (small farts that emerge after a large one – contributed by Cory)
air
air attack (contributed by Hambone)
air biscuit (contributed by IFlatulant)
air monkey (contributed by ILuvDAC)
air pigeon (contributed by Darivian)
air poop (contributed by Tony)
almond toast (contributed by ifartoften)
anal acoustics (contributed by Hambone)
anal escape of wind
anal exhale (contributed by umrox)
anal emissions
anal oxide
anal retreat (contributed by Hambone)
anus evacuation (contributed by SobrXSot)
Arkansas barking spiders (contributed by DrtTweekr)
ars musica
arse blast (contributed by WT of Scotland)
a– dropping (contributed by Dan S.)
a– flapper (contributed by Chris of Texas)
atmosphere of Uranus
backblast (contributed by Craig T.; the “backblast area” is where the fart can be detected; upon dissipation of the odor, one can announce “Backblast area all clear!”)
backdoor trumpet
back draft (contributed by Steve R.)
back end blow out (contributed by PolarBare4)
bae (Danish – contributed by Casper)
barking rats
barking spiders
barley boast (a beer fart — contributed by ifartoften)
bean bombers (contributed by Phil W. and Pat N.)
bean fumes (contributed by Chris(Topher))
beaver leaver (contributed by Hambone)
beer fart
belching clown (contributed by Hambone)
big spit-up (contributed by Acemantsb)
bilabial fricative
bingo (contributed by Anne)
blampf (contributed by Zack W.)
blanket bomb (contributed by ifartoften)
blare-a– (contributed by Spider J.)
blinking browneye (contributed by brakthejedi)
blow-by (a fart that smells especially awful because it blew by a turd – contributed by Jane of NC)
blow fish
blue angel (ignited fart)
blue bomber
blue darts (ignited fart – contributed by Ghoul)
blurp (contributed by Snoopidog)
bologna sandwich essence
boomper letters
booty bomb (submitted by Nsanedane)
bork (the sound made by a fart when you press down in the bathtub – contributed by DeSmReed)
bottom burp
botty burp (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)
botty cough (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)
bram (Welsh – contributed by Merlyn)
bratwurst bugle (contributed by ifartoften)
bratwurst butt belch (contributed by brakthejedi)
brewer’s fart (grains and all!) (from an 1811 slang dictionary, contributed by FOX)
brown air biscuit (contributed by Ernie C.)
brown-body radiation
brown haze
brown mist
brown speckled mallard (a misty fart)
brownster (contributed by Craig1573)
brun canard
bubblers
bubbling acid (contributed by ifartoften)
buck snort or bucksnort (a particularly loud fart – contributed by Brandon of Shreveport and Ech T.)
bull snort (contributed by ThetaGravy)
bum and flutter
bung blast (submitted by Nsanedane)
bunghole buzzer (contributed by Ernie C.)
bunsen burners
burners
burp that went astray
burp that comes out the wrong end
butt bark (contributed by ifartoften)
butt bomb (contributed by Ernie C.)
butt bongos (contributed by ifartoften)
butt breather (contributed by umrox)
butt burps (contributed by the Robinsons)
butt cheek bubbles (farts emitted underwater – contributed by casey m.)
butt cheek squeak (contributed by Pookie)
butthole blowout (contributed by brakthejedi)
butt moose (contributed by D.W.A.)
butt mutt (contributed by Hambone)
butt trumpets (a rumblimg, bubbling trumpet-sounding fart – contributed by S.MO.)
butt wind (contributed by Chris of Texas)
cabbage captivator (contributed by ifartoften)
can o’ chedder (contributed by Craig1573)
carpet creeper (contributed by Steve R.)
case of swamp a– (contributed by Bazzbull)
Chanel No. 2 (contributed by ifartoften)
cheeser
cheese toasty (contributed by Craig1573)
chemical warfare (contributed by Wyld-Side)
chert (Palauan)
chili killy (contributed by ifartoften)
chold (Palauan)
chou pi (Chinese for “stinking fart” – contributed by George S.)
chunder (contributed by Tony of Belfast)
churchhouse creepers
Cincinatti cyanide (contributed by ifartoften)
colon calamities (contributed by PLIC2K)
colon cologne (contributed by Tod G.)
cooked cauliflower cocktail (contributed by ifartoften)
cornhole tremor (contributed by Nukiks)
crack rattler (contributed by Ernie C.)
crepidus (Latin – contributed by Chris V.)
crunchy frog
cushion creepers
cyanide substitute (contributed by ifartoften)
davebrok (a stop-and-go kind of fart – contributed by Skeetkix)
death poot (contributed by meg)
deer grunt (contributed by BassMaster4684)
deer snort
dej (Danish – contributed by Casper)
desert varnish (a wet fart)
dirt road dust (contributed by ifartoften)
doofu (Oromo of Ethiopia – contributed by Reed)
doozer (contributed by Snoopidog)
doozy (contributed by Hambone)
double flutterblast (contributed by gallagher)
drifters
drig (Armenian — contributed by PorschFrk)
drive by (contributed by EMINEMIllI)
duck call (contributed by BassMaster4684)
Dutch oven (farting in bed and pulling the covers over one’s head to smell it – contributed by Janice M.)
eggy whiffo (a particularly sulfurous emission – contributed by Stiv)
EPA red alert (contributed by ifartoften)
essence of Emeril (contributed by Mesdabom)
essence of the anus (contributed by TrollForce Programming Team)
evacuation siren (contributed by ifartoften)
excreted gas
explosion between the cheeks
extreme fumagatory essence
fang pae (Chinese – contributed by PGotelli)
fang pi (Chinese – contributed by George S.)
fannitosis
fanny beep (contributed by Phil W. and Pat N.)
fanny bubble (contributed by squall5)
fanny halitosis
fart
fart combo (2 or more farts made within 5 seconds of each other – contributed by red arse)
fartrogen dioxide (1940s era term – contributed by Rick Taylor)
Fartvergnugen (based on Volkswagen’s slogan: fahrvergnugen, “describing a pleasurable experience – contributed by Jordan B.)
fat lady delight
fecal clouds (contributed by Nukiks)
fickle fuzz (contributed by Spider J.)
fing (Hungarian – pronounced “feeng” – contributed by BOOTS)
fingi
fire in the hole (an ignited fart – contributed by Hambone)
fizz (contributed by CS Rondeau, Spider J.)
fizz-fuzz (contributed by CS Rondeau)
fizzy fuzz (contributed by Dick R.)
flabbergaster
flame throwers
flaming cornhole (contributed by JAG)
flatulence
flatulencia (Spanish)
flatus
flooper (contributed by Phyllis)
fluff
flurpies
flutterblast (contributed by Ernie C.)
fly breaking the sound barrier (contributed by Smoopuppy)
foo-foo (contributed by Hambone)
foyon (Puerto Rican Spanish slang for a loud, smelly fart – contributed by Jeannie H.)
frump (an underwater fart — contributed by Yellybrat)
Furz (German – contributed by Gray)
fuss (Lebonese) (contributed by james)
the fuzz (contributed by CS Rondeau, Spider J.)
the fuzz=fizz (contributed by CS Rondeau)
gas
gasser
gastronomical reprocussion (contributed by Lisa)
General Colon Bowel barking commands (contributed by Hambone)
gooz (Persian – contributed by Armond)
gross wind
grosse humours
guano-talk
gou pi (Chinese for “dog fart” – contributed by George S.)
grounds for divorce (contributed by ifartoften)
grunghee (contributed by Deego)
gurglers
ham slam (contributed by ifartoften)
hanger (“the killer that emerges the morning after two days of drinking and permeates everything, making whatever room you were in unusable for at least half an hour” – contributed by Rob C.)
he (Japanese – pronounced “hay” – contributed by Jarrod)
Hershey Park (the atmospheric area occupied by a fart – contributed by pooeater)
Hershey splert (fart accompanied by a tad of diarrhea – contributed by BoB)
Hershey smoke (contributed by ifartoften)
hissers
hole in the wall gang (multiple farts – contributed by Hambone)
honksa (Choctaw – pronounced “honk-sa” — contributed by Thrashforever)
hot wind (contributed by BLCO7)
Hun Futza (German for “dog fart” – contributed by DrummerDanDogg)
hurricane (contributed by Ryan)
hydrogen bombs
ignimbrite (ignited fart)
Japanese barking beetles (term used by servicemen stationed in Japan – contributed by Rob A.)
Jersey torch (ignited fart, from the movie “IQ” – contributed by Barb F.)
jetwash (from Top Gun – contributed by ThetaGravy)
jockey jelly (contributed by ifartoften)
kabooms (farts that hurt – submitted by Cpt. BooBerry)
kanala (Danish – submitted by Mary S.)
lactose liberation (contributed by ifartoften)
laughing a– (contributed by Wyld-Side)
the leather cheerio bark (contributed by Zack W.)
lingers
lort (Danish – contributed by Casper)
love puff (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)
low flying geese (contributed by DjMightyMike)
low flying jets (contributed by TUTS314)
machine gun sound effects (contributed by ifartoften)
massive vapor of butt gas (contributed by Pittimunga)
message from the interior (contributed by Steve R.)
methane
misdirected burp
Missouri mud ducks (contributed by Deb)
moon beam (contributed by Hambone)
morning thunder
mouse (contributed by Phyllis)
mousie squeak
mudslapper (contributed by Spittoon)
mush (contributed by Snoopidog)
musical butt (contributed by Ubu3)
the nether belch
nicotine stains in the Hanes (contributed by ifartoften)
nitrogen nerve gas (contributed by ifartoften)
nuée ardent (a hot fart that rolls down the leg burning off all the hairs in its path)
nwonk (a fart that sounds like a trumpet – contributed by desi42187)
one-cheek sneaks
paad (Hindi – contributed by Sandeep K.)
pants geese (contributed by Zack W.)
pants puffer (contributed by Ernie C.)
passed flatus
passed gas
peaches
pedo (Spanish)
peido (Portuguese -contributed by Rafael G.P.)
peo (Spanish, used in Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and other Latin American regions – contributed by Ancsea)
pet (French)
petard (contributed by Pitdeolive)
phewie
pip (contributed by andymac)
pluts
poelse (Danish – contributed by Casper)
poodles (contributed by stephalbert)
poof (contributed by Hambone)
poofume (contributed by andymac)
poo gas (contributed by HeMan)
pooh
pooh noise (contributed by Amanda J.)
poop fumes (contributed by SPC)
poop without the mess
poopy tunes (contributed by brendan)
poot (contributed by Snoopidog)
pooty pants (contributed by Rz)
popcorn fart (a dry fart) (contributed by IFlatulant)
pop tarts
power poof (contributed by Hambone)
preets (contributed by Jetdogy)
prison break (contributed by Hambone)
proot-proots (French – contributed by DD Ramsey)
prootsie (contributed by Jetdogy)
prut (Danish – contributed by Casper)
pudd (Punjabi – contributed by Sandeep K.)
puffer
puh
puk (Russian – pronounced “pook” – contributed by Gray)
pulpmiller
pum (Portuguese -contributed by Rafael G.P.)
purple clouds (as in “I can’t smell nothin’ but them purple clouds is sho stingin my eyes!” – contributed by Chris H.)
putt-putts (contributed by Agnes)
queef (vaginal fart)
queve (a frontal emission from a woman – contributed by Rz)
rambunctious rectum (contributed by PLIC2K)
rames (Palauan) (specifically a high-pitched, long, drawn-out fart)
rare arse (quiet, undulating gentle sound – contributed by Ron C., from father’s Royal Navy terms)
rattler (contributed by Dick M.)
rectal turbulence (contributed by Randy C.)
rectum roar (contributed by Ernie C.)
report
ringo (contributed by Stiv)
ringtailed roarer (contributed by Ron C., from father’s Royal Navy terms)
rip a– (contributed by DrummerDanDogg)
ripship (contributed by Spider J.)
the ripsh– (contributed by CS Rondeau)
ripskin (contributed by the Ripskin Club)
ripsnorter
road pizza perfume (contributed by ifartoften)
roevgas (Danish – contributed by Casper)
rump ripper (contributed by Ernie C.)
rup rap (diarrhea propelled by flatus – contributed by Tony of Belfast)
the scented scream (contributed by Zack W.)
scheet (Dutch)
seam squirrels (contributed by avernus)
sh– fumes (contributed by SPC)
sh– propellant
sh– vapor (contributed by Anderson G.)
sh– without the mess
silent but deadly (SBD)
silent but violent (SBV) (contributed by Acemantsb)
silent depth charge (contributed by M.L.G.)
silent killer (contributed by ifartoften)
silent spadily
sitter air (contributed by Kevin and Carol O.)
skag (contributed by Bill J. and Matt K.)
skid (Danish – contributed by Casper)
skidmarks in the shorts (contributed by ifartoften)
sliders
smelly jelly (a wet fart – contributed by Rz)
smell-o-rama (contributed by Hambone)
smelts (contributed by Hambone)
smoke rings from behind (contributed by ifartoften)
smoofer (contributed by C. Whisman)
snak (in the bathtub)
S.O.D. (stench of death) (contributed by Wacankiyopi)
some a–hole behind you talking sh– (contributed by DrtTweekr)
sound spadily
soytoy (contributed by Mark Z.)
space shuttle launch (contributed by ifartoften)
sphincter whistle (contributed by Nukiks)
sphincturbulence (contributed by Hambone)
spitters
squeakers
squib
squiffer (submitted by Nsanedane)
stainer (contributed by Snoopidog)
stale wind (contributed by pdmetcalf)
stench of death (contributed by Craig)
stink
stinker (contributed by Heather)
surprise (a fart with a lump in it – contributed by K. Fisher of Virginia)
svaerd (Danish – contributed by Casper)
taco torpedo (contributed by ifartoften)
talking pants (contributed by Zack W.)
tear arse (loud, disturbing sound – contributed by Ron C., from father’s Royal Navy terms)
tear a– (contributed by CS Rondeau)
telegram (a message that poop’s on its way – from Proud Farter of Australia)
terminal flatulence
terminal velocity flatulence
three tone fart (contributed by Acemantsb)
thunder below (contributed by CAP1SGT0)
thunder dumpling (contributed by Ernie C.)
thunder in the buns
tonage (contributed by Acemantsb)
toop (contributed by Rz)
tooters (contributed by Winters)
toot-toots (contributed by Winters)
trail fart (a fart that follows the farter – contributed by Jeremy C.)
triple flutter blaster (contributed by Tobytalks)
triple thunder flutter
trouser cough (contributed by Price)
trouser trumpet
trump (England – contributed by Chris, Chedi Master of Derby)
turtle (contributed by Tabitha)
tushie belches (contributed by Mensa)
tush tickler (contributed by Ernie C.)
underpants lion (contributed by Zack W.)
veirnt (contributed by Savage897)
ventifact
Victoria’s Secret’s worst nightmare (contributed by ifartoften)
vind (Danish – contributed by Casper)
voice of the toothless one (contributed by Jimmy K.)
warp drive (contributed by Tom)
wet fart (contributed by Mr. Gimpster)
wet one
whallop
White Castle’s revenge (contributed by ifartoften)
whootzie (contributed by DrummerDanDogg)
wind
wind beneath the cheeks (contributed by Tom R.)
wind breakage (contributed by Kevin and Carol O.)
windy pops
wizard
yelping spider (contributed by babybuddha)
zephyr (contributed by BLCO7)
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